Saturday, 11 July 2020
Englishman in Dubrovnik Englishman in Dubrovnik

There is a new woman in my life

By  Mark Thomas Nov 25, 2017

There is a new woman in my life. An unbelievably cute lady, or should I say young lady, that has completely stolen my heart. She sleeps on my pillow, goes wherever I go, sits on my lap, we simply adore one another. And before you start getting the wrong idea my wife knows about her and is absolutely fine with me having a younger woman, although it does bother her a little as I give this new love of my life much more attention than my wife. For those of you who haven’t yet worked out what I am talking about this new female is in fact a feline – a cat!

Yes, the Thomas Zoo has increased once again with the latest edition to the tribe a young kitten. She must be the cutest cat I have ever seen; she looks like she has just been doing a photo shoot for the new Whiskas cat food. We found her, or she found us, at the end of the summer. As the English would say she is the “runt of the litter.” But after a few months she became terribly sick, the once bouncy kitten limped along. “We have to take her to the vets,” I said to my wife. Now we are so often at the vets that we don’t bother making appointments anymore. If out vet had a loyalty card, like a Konzum card, we would have racked up so many points that we could buy dog food for the next century. “Oh, this one doesn’t look so good,” came the answer from the vet, not really the first reaction any pet owner wants to hear. “She has cat plague and a really bad case,” she added. This little kitten was draped over my hand like an old rag, lifeless and seemingly half dead. “We can try her on some antibiotics and infusions but I don’t give her much chance of survival – I would say around 20 percent,” she concluded. “20 percent is at least something,” ever the optimist I added.

It was a long journey. Infusions and infusions, drugs, tablets…this poor cat swallowed more drugs than a rock star. But slowly but surely she came back from the dead. Her mother had obviously rejected her, as had her the other kittens in the litter.

During this time of healing and medication we both became bonded. Everywhere I went she followed. I would drive her to the vets tucked down my jumper and during the bumpy ride she would fall asleep purring.

And this comes in a week when some idiot left nine boxes full of puppies and kittens in front of the Culture Home in Čilipi! An extremely ironic place to dump animals, whoever did this has no culture whatsoever. As Mark Twain once wrote ““The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” And so our young kitten survived. Well not only survived but she has blossomed. She is a complete princess. She sleeps right next to my pillow, enjoys fluffy blankets and wants to be cuddled all day long. This has meant a temporary pause to our bedtime activities, if you understand what I mean.

Firstly, she sleeps between our pillows and secondly she demands all the attention. When we did try to, well get intimate, I felt her playing with my toe, which in the height of passion was a bucket of cold water on the fire. So for the time being we are living like monks and nuns. Note to self – I never want to be a monk! She is also clumsy. And being a cat she is curious, as they say curiosity killed the cat. There isn’t a hole, a cupboard or a corner of our house that she hasn’t discovered. Now one of the after effects of this terrible illness was that she has terrible balance. Her back legs look like they have been connected the wrong way round. It doesn’t hurt her but means that when she runs she looks like she’s doing an impression of Elvis Presley and her leaping skills are inaccurate. All this means that she never leaves the house. Probably because she feels insecure. She basically couldn’t escape from any predators. Not that there any tigers or lions roaming the plains of Zupa.

And while we are on the subject of Zupa when is someone going to open a vet surgery in Zupa? So I am writing this column with her sitting on my lap, she is my new laptop. A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden. She is purring blissfully unaware that she is the reason my fingers are bashing the keyboard. And her name, well what else could I name her but twenty.


The Voice of Dubrovnik


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