I really should have entitled this - Babysitting, or the Pre-Teen Survival Chronicles. As I sit down to pen this, my household (and my world) is unrecognizable. My wife and I have become participants in what can only be described as the Great Pre-Teen Experiment.

This week, we are playing host to two young nieces, whose energy levels are rivaled only by their capacity to turn our once-orderly home into what looks like the aftermath of a rock concert. And by rock concert, I mean one attended by Taylor Swift and Dua Lipa super fans with a side obsession for Netflix dramas.

The chaos began on Day One when their shared bedroom looked as if a tornado had touched down.

Clothes spilled out of bags in defiance of drawers, and their meticulously curated collection of creams, lotions, and face masks overtook every available surface.

"What are you wearing?" I asked the younger one as she waltzed out of the bathroom with a face pack so thick I wondered if she’d accidentally glued it on. She tried to laugh, but her newly porcelain visage refused to budge.

These girls are yin and yang in human form.

The older one, a budding CEO in the making, organizes her day with the precision of a German engineer.

Meanwhile, her younger sibling operates on a timeline best described as “fluid.” Half philosopher, half daydreaming artist, she’s the type who would argue the merits of existentialism while applying glitter to her notebook. It’s like having a politician and a poet under the same roof—equal parts fascinating and maddening.

When they’re not turning our home into a live-action Pinterest board, they’re glued to the television. Gossip Girl, a teenage melodrama I can only describe as Romeo and Juliet meet Instagram, plays on an endless loop. It’s all “he loves me, he loves me not,” punctuated by dramatic pauses and suspiciously perfect lighting.

Occasionally, they swap the remote for Spotify, where Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift duel for supremacy.

My dogs, oddly enough, seem to enjoy the soundtrack and have taken to cuddling up with them during these marathons.

Would I go back to being a teenager? Absolutely not. All that angst, all that insecurity, all that constant flux—no thanks. Watching these girls navigate their world, I’m reminded of how precarious those years are.

Social media looms large, with its dopamine hits and ever-present pressure to perform. The world may have offered us MTV and mix tapes, but they’re living in an era of TikTok trends and influencer culture. It’s equal parts fascinating and horrifying.

Innocence battles with the stark realities of modern life, and it’s like watching an epic chess match where no one’s quite sure who’s winning.

And then there’s homework.

The cruel gods of academia decided to test my limits on Day Two with a math assignment.

Maths was my nemesis in school—and time has not dulled its edges. Staring at those equations was like reading hieroglyphs. Meanwhile, the younger niece—ever the philosopher—offered an unsolicited monologue just to help us lose our concentration before wandering off.

Yet, amidst the chaos, there are moments of profound sweetness.

Their world, while overwhelming and often bewildering, is still rich with potential. Every fall is met with a rise, every heartbreak a new hope. It’s messy, sure, but it’s also beautiful.

Would I relive my teenage years? Only if I could take my 55 years of experience with me. Until then, I’ll settle for being a spectator in their adolescent adventure, cheering them on from the sidelines.

Watching them navigate TikTok trends, glittering chaos, and algebraic enigmas, I’m reminded that while I wouldn’t trade places with them, I wouldn’t trade the experience of witnessing it for anything.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, duty calls—and by duty, I mean a pre-teen crisis likely involving glitter, a misplaced charger, or, heaven forbid, another round of maths.

Read more Englishman in Dubrovnik…well, if you really want to

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About the author

Mark Thomas (aka Englez u Dubrovniku) is the editor of The Dubrovnik Times. He was born and educated in the UK and moved to live in Dubrovnik in 1998. He works across a whole range of media, from a daily radio show to TV and in print. Thomas is fluent in Croatian and this column is available in Croatia on the website – Dubrovnik Vjesnik