“There's no going back, whoa.” Indeed, there isn't for Baby Lasagna. That must have been the most impressive performance I have ever seen at a Gay Pride event, sorry I meant Eurovision, an easy mistake to make.

So, I have to say right at the beginning of this that I am not really a big Eurovision fan. The last time I think that I actually watched a show was when Johnny Logan won (for the second time), so that probably shows my age.

And whilst I am at the admitting stage I also have to add that the first couple of times I heard Rim Tim Tagi Dim I didn't really like it. Yes, I admit it. And yes, I admit that I was wrong, really wrong.

Having not seen any Eurovision for so long I didn't really know what to expect.  I had skipped the semi-finals and went straight into the main event.

“It starts at nine tonight,” said my wife. And knowing I had to drive her to a 6.15 flight I asked, “And when does it finish?” The answer to my question became evident - never!

When did Australia or for that fact Israel become part of the Old Continent?

“What number is Croatia?” she asked. Ah, crap! Number 22, almost last. “Wake me up when Marko comes on stage,” she said and then rolled over and fell fast asleep.

Sweden, Ukraine, Germany, Luxembourg, the list went on and on.

“There’s no way I am going to stay awake with all of these instant forgettable songs,” I said to my wife, well to my sleeping wife.  Then I thought they were saving the best songs till last. Turns out I was right. 

First a man in a skirt balancing on what looked like a spinning beer cap. “Sounds like a theme tune to a Barbie video,” I joked with Mrs. Sleepy.

And then BOOM!

The roof on the arena was blown off and is probably now somewhere in Finland.

When the first chords hit and the crowd exploded it was like drowning a six-pack of Red Bull. The sheer energy. “Ay, I’m a big boy now.” You aren’t wrong.

Switzerland might have broken the code but Baby Lasagna had broken the whole bloody arena!

Again, I am no music critic or even Eurovision fan, but even to my untrained ears this song was kicking ass. I seemed a far cry from the gentle days of ABBA with Waterloo and Johnny with Hold Me Now. “Wow, that was great, if he doesn’t win then I won’t watch Eurovision again,” I said, whoops forgot to wake her up.

I turned off the TV. I had to get some sleep.

I couldn’t.

All I could hear in my head was Meow, cat, please, meow back. This is mad, but I ended up watching the whole show to the end on my mobile phone under the blanket, like a teenage girl watching a Taylor Swift video.

All the 12 points were going to Barbie and his beer cap?!?

Well, we all know what happened, the public voted for the best song in the end. I am not even going to claim a moral victory for Baby Lasagna, I don’t need to, from the response he had when he returned home he won.

I am not embarrassed to say that when he broke down in tears in front of thousands of fans I too shed a few tears. He is just so likeable.

“Did you watch the homecoming,” asked my wife (who was by now in Zagreb) and I could hear from her voice that I wasn’t the only one getting emotional. Baby Lasagna isn’t a star in the making – he is a star already!

The positivity, the modesty, the will and the sheer joy that he exudes, he has brought incredible pride to the whole nation. There's no going back, indeed!

BRAVO!

Read more Englishman in Dubrovnik…well, if you really want to

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About the author
Mark Thomas (aka Englez u Dubrovniku) is the editor of The Dubrovnik Times. He was born and educated in the UK and moved to live in Dubrovnik in 1998. He works across a whole range of media, from a daily radio show to TV and in print. Thomas is fluent in Croatian and this column is available in Croatia on the website – Dubrovnik Vjesnik