The start of a new relationship can be exciting and tricky at the same time. You feel happy that someone adores you, thinks you’re funny, finds you interesting, and so much more. You’re in the honeymoon phase of sending text messages a lot and smiling while staring on your phone. You want this bliss to last forever; but you’ll have to carefully navigate the course of the new relationship to make it last.
To help you out, here the important dos and don’ts when beginning a new relationship:
1. Do show adequate amount of affection
You might have met because of a common friend, interest, or hobby. Whatever reason behind that fateful acquaintance that led to knowing each other better, it’s undeniable that the start of a new relationship can have mixed signals. When you are in this phase, it’s natural to feel like you’re head over heels but appear hard to get at the same time.
It’s essential that you show your affection towards your significant other because it can bring you two closer, but it’s also crucial that you don’t overdo the amount of affection you give. Here are some ways to show your affection:
● Give them your full attention when they are talking. Don’t use your phone or anything else, and listen to what they are saying intently.
● Make time, even if you are busy. Making time for your partner doesn’t have to be grand. It can be as simple as jogging with him before work or calling him during lunch break.
● Make eye contact. It gives validation to your partner that you are present with him or her in that moment.
● Call them cute names that can be found on this list.
2. Don’t jump into talking about the far future
If you don’t want to scare your partner and make him run away, don’t overthink and talk about the future. This is a new relationship where it’s time for both of you to get to know each other and test your compatibility. Don’t rush them into certain commitments, asking about wanting kids, or coming up with baby names.
Don’t take it personally, but these are just topics that you need to save for a later time. To be on the safe side, the future that you should talk about in the meantime is your next date.
3. Do have realistic expectations
Your life, including your relationship, is not a Hollywood romantic comedy film. Having realistic expectations from your partner instead of comparing them to a fictional character you’ve seen in a movie or read about in a novel will make them appreciate you more. Although he/she might seem to be your prince charming/princess, accept the fact that they are flawed human beings.
There will be times that you’ll be disappointed, but still love them love them anyway. Here are simple ways to have realistic expectations:
● Communicate openly without being judgmental or defensive. Tell your significant other what you want rather than having them guess and feel bad when they don’t get it right.
● Understand that your partner will not always have grand gestures like surprising you with a room full of flowers or a flash mob performance as you stroll by the park. Instead, treasure small but more important gestures like a forehead kiss, a word of encouragement when you’re down, opening the door for you, or staying at the dangerous side of the road.
● Respect each other’s independence and stop hoping that your partner will be texting or calling you every second of the day. Frequent communication is crucial in a relationship, but constant contact can be suffocating.
4. Don’t be a negative person
Negativity can be contagious, and most people don’t want that, especially when beginning a new relationship. Pessimism can come in various forms like not wanting to try something your partner likes, your jealousy when their ex communicates, your insecurities when your partner appreciates another person, and more.
Be open to try new things like food and activities because you’ll never know how good, or undesirable, they can be if you don’t try. At the same time, it's highly possible that you’re not the only person who finds your partner attractive. If you’re becoming pessimistic, here are some suggestions:
● Reflect on your insecurities and identify where they are coming from. If you have had issues in the past or are comparing yourself to someone else, stop indulging those insecurities by accepting your past and bearing in mind that you’re working on a better future.
● Be honest and open with your significant other. If you have feelings of jealousy, tell them specifically what’s bothering you and don’t put the blame on them. Stay calm during the conversation and remember that this is not an argument. In the worse scenario that your jealousy is valid, take steps to resolve the issue. It could be a breakup or working to fix it, but don’t focus on that negative feeling.
● Talk to a close friend whom you can trust. Getting another perspective can be helpful.
● Write a journal. Whenever you start having negative thoughts, write them down on a journal to serve as an outlet to vent and let them go.
New relationships can be the start of magical beginnings. It’s crucial that you put in enough effort to be more affectionate without going overboard so that the relationship can blossom into something beautiful. By following the dos and don’ts provided above, you can do your part in bringing establishing a strong foundation for that new relationship.